This year's NDCHEA meetings will be following a slightly different schedule from the one we have followed for the past several years. Last spring, our members decided that we would like to focus more on spiritual growth this year, rather than the more practical "how-to" focus that we have had in the past. (For those "how-to" questions that still arise, we have fellowship meetings in November and February where parents can bring up any issues they are facing.)
For this year, we will be concentrating on the list of character qualities from Titus 2:4-5 that the older women are to teach the younger women...to love their husbands and children; to be self-controlled, kind, pure, and managers of their homes; and to be submissive to their own husbands. Each month one of the NDCHEA members will be giving a short presentation on what she has learned over the years about that particular quality and how she tries to exhibit it in her home and homeschooling.
On September 8, Lisa set the standard for the rest of the meetings this year as she discussed loving our husbands. Most of the information she presented came from the book A Woman after God's Own Heart by Elizabeth George. She began by reminding us why Titus 2 says that these seven qualities are important -- to help younger women, to help ourselves, and that the Word of God may not be reviled.
Lisa then went on to discuss three aspects of loving our husbands. These are serving, submitting, and loving. She reminded us that Matthew 20:28 tells us that Christ came to serve, not to be served. With our husbands, we are called to be their helpers (Gen. 2:18). She defined a helper as one who shares a man's responsibilities, responds to his nature with understanding and love, and wholeheartedly cooperates with him in working out the plan of God. Each of us has to consider -- What are my husband's responsibilities? What is his nature and how should I respond to it? What does it look like when I cooperate with him? We can successfully serve when we make a commitment to help him in his responsibilities, focus on him (his preferences/needs) and not ourselves, make the best of whatever happens, and ask ourselves before speaking or acting, "Will this help him or hinder him?"
Lisa spent only a little time talking about submission, as it will be covered in a later meeting, but she did define it for us as placing ourselves under someone else. She reminded us that submission is a choice, not something that anyone can force you to do. However, when we move away from selfishness, we reflect God's character. Also, submission is not actually about our husbands -- our submission is unto the Lord. In the end, our husbands will be accountable to God for their leadership decisions, and we will be accountable to God for how we submit to that leadership.
Finally, Lisa talked about loving our husbands. The word for love in this verse is "phileo," which many know as "friendship love." We are to cherish and enjoy our husbands, seeing them as our best friends. She encouraged us to "spoil him rotten" and reminded us NOT to over-invest in our children while under-investing in our marriages.
She gave several practical things that we can do to love our husbands. We can pray for him daily. We can plan and prepare for him daily. (This would look different in different homes, but for my home it means that when my husband walks in after work, the kitchen table is cleaned off and there is smile on my face for him!) We can please him by making an effort to learn what he likes and dislikes, and even learn about things that he is interested in. We must protect our time with him, physically love him, and praise him both in public and private (never criticize him in public). Also, she recommended positively responding to him -- making it a habit of saying "sure" or "yes" to his requests, instead of responding negatively.
I know many ladies already know much of this information, but it is always good to be reminded. When I came home after the meeting, my husband and I were talking about the things Lisa had said, and it opened the opportunity for a good discussion about a couple of things that he would like to be better in our home. It was so good to remember that there is always something (even a little thing) that I can do to enhance the most important human relationship I have.
